rather frolic in frivolous
than judge what I'll never understand
your mind will never conceive me
you judgmental man
©Tia L. Clarke 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
STOP HATING
for obi quiet
IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I WRITE
IF WHAT INTERESTS ME DOESN'T INTEREST YOU
STOP READING MY DAMN BLOG
IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I WRITE
IF WHAT INTERESTS ME DOESN'T INTEREST YOU
STOP READING MY DAMN BLOG
Saturday, March 22, 2008
RIDICULOUS
Every time I cry, I believe this is my last time.
The last time I'll waste my tears on something as meaningless as emotion.
Isn't that funny?! Emotion being meaningless, nonsense right. You know what I believe my problem is. I settle. I settle because it's easy, it's safe. I settle in so many areas of my life it's hard to even explain.
But more specifically I'll talk about relationships.
I leave the last relationship thinking, this time I will not settle. I deserve to be respected. I deserve someone who pulls out chairs; someone who brings me flowers; someone who accepts me for everything I am without trying to change me.
Some where along the line I lose sight of that. I always settle for at least he...
smt its ridiculous...RIGHT??!
The last time I'll waste my tears on something as meaningless as emotion.
Isn't that funny?! Emotion being meaningless, nonsense right. You know what I believe my problem is. I settle. I settle because it's easy, it's safe. I settle in so many areas of my life it's hard to even explain.
But more specifically I'll talk about relationships.
I leave the last relationship thinking, this time I will not settle. I deserve to be respected. I deserve someone who pulls out chairs; someone who brings me flowers; someone who accepts me for everything I am without trying to change me.
Some where along the line I lose sight of that. I always settle for at least he...
smt its ridiculous...RIGHT??!
Friday, March 21, 2008
QUESTION
This is just me venting, and it probably will show up in poem form later but I have to get this out my system.
WHY ARE MEN SO ONE SIDED???
How can you do something one week and its all good. No problem, I ain't raise no hell. But this week, I did something remotely similar...meaning I notified you even though you didn't have the decency to tell me, I told you. Now its all I don't feel like talking to you. You all hurt and shit.
You know what lick ya mutha BEEPIN wounds by your damn self. I'm sick of that BEEP.
Thanks for who ever reads this. If you supply me with an answer I'll be much greatful.
WHY ARE MEN SO ONE SIDED???
How can you do something one week and its all good. No problem, I ain't raise no hell. But this week, I did something remotely similar...meaning I notified you even though you didn't have the decency to tell me, I told you. Now its all I don't feel like talking to you. You all hurt and shit.
You know what lick ya mutha BEEPIN wounds by your damn self. I'm sick of that BEEP.
Thanks for who ever reads this. If you supply me with an answer I'll be much greatful.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Horse before Carriage...
BABY THEN MARRIAGE(:Sconfused face)
Recently a close unwed friend of mine asked me to go with her to the clinic because she recently had a baby and was still feeling discomfort from her stitches. She was a bit uneasy because her on going relationship with a man ten years older than her was unpredictable. He proved untrustworthy and having sexual relations with him was a risk. I agreed to go because I was greatly concerned and wanted to make sure she was going to be fine.
The visit to the clinic was unnerving. As we walked in the ice cold room my hands grew clammy. I looked around and saw a startling amount of unaccompanied pregnant youngsters. I almost felt guilty. As if not sporting a baby bump of my own was a disgrace. But we knew nothing about each other. Maybe the girls were staring at me, declaring me just another statistic, another teenage mother, one of their cronies. Most of the girls had stoic looks upon their faces. My friend hung her head down as she sat. I knew she was terrified rather than ashamed. There was nothing to be ashamed of, this was normalicy.
Sitting there I remembered the tremendous baby shower my cousin's wife had for her unwed teenage daughter. The daughter that was preparing to enter into tenth grade. Such a grand prize for such a grand accomplishment. I graduated highschool and no one even told me congrats...amazing how this society works. BACKWARDS!
When my friend's name was called we looked at each other, and slowly got up. I was asked to stay out front, and that to me was a bit of a relief. My assumption was her stitches were merely taking a little longer to heal than normal. I waited as the doctor asked her questions and then examined her. She came out and told me the Dr. concluded that she had a rare sexually transmitted disease that is hard to detect but treatable. We were relieved that it wasn’t more serious than that but she was infuriated at the thought that her sexual partner would risk her life like that.
Everyone seems so eager nowadays to jump in bed that they forget...the carriage can't move with the horse behind it. Maybe getting to know an individual before you give up the "goods" will save you the embarrassment of the visit to the clinic.
So many naive young girls and involve themselves in relationships with older men. I chose young girls and older men because they seem to be the ones creating the most problems. However, this is for everyone. (Even though throughtout I'm focusing on the old men/young girl relationship) ANYWAY...Humans aren't asexual beings. Without a vagina(which usually is attached to a female) and a penis(which usually is attached to a male) babies can't be made. Babies are blessings, not toys for a ninth grader.
Furthermore, so many people in society are excepting of the sex before knowing you/baby before marriage trend. No, I'm not pointing fingers. I'm simply stating that before the Christian counsel decides to take off MY BET and have an uproar over Bareback Mountain, maybe they should concern themselves with the increasing percentages of unwed teenage mothers. AND how many of the babies they christened in their offices for $25 without telling that young girl, who was there last year that time by the way, to close her legs. BET isn't on basic cable any more, so what are we to blame?
To the fathers of the young women who are being taking advantage of by men who probably sat behind daddy dearest, be a father to them and they wouldn't have to search for one. My friend was a lucky one, but some of these men are fathers themselves and continue to plague girls with diseases, stripping them of their innocence. This is a terrifying notion and very much apart of our society. We see it every day but turn a blind eye until it invades our immediate family. I feel as though older men preying on younger girls causes, lack of self respect and in many cases causes the young girls demise.
Most of these children are seeking love and affection. They want to be listened to, called beautiful and given a hug. Older more worldly men take advantage of those desires. They bombard them with material possessions, take them places and parade them around other unfaithful friends as if they are proud and confident within their relationship. Some of these men have already established families and want to use these girls for their body. They introduce these young girls to sexual acts and abuse their bodies. Soon these girls feel as though they are only good for sex.
Moreover, some of these men also have STD’s and coax these naïve young girls to have unprotected sex with them. The whisper in the ear, the baby I love you. Head swing and panty gone. Thus leading to an increasing rate of teenage pregnancies and many sickly and dying young women.
Some say the girls are well aware of what is going on and blame them. But we as a nation must take charge defending our youth. An under age girl can not legally give consent to a sexual relationship with an adult. As a result I feel the law should enforce stricter punishment for these men.
This essay is me just venting...but please, stop putting the horse before the carriage. It only has our country going backwards. (in every aspect...not jus dis:)
Recently a close unwed friend of mine asked me to go with her to the clinic because she recently had a baby and was still feeling discomfort from her stitches. She was a bit uneasy because her on going relationship with a man ten years older than her was unpredictable. He proved untrustworthy and having sexual relations with him was a risk. I agreed to go because I was greatly concerned and wanted to make sure she was going to be fine.
The visit to the clinic was unnerving. As we walked in the ice cold room my hands grew clammy. I looked around and saw a startling amount of unaccompanied pregnant youngsters. I almost felt guilty. As if not sporting a baby bump of my own was a disgrace. But we knew nothing about each other. Maybe the girls were staring at me, declaring me just another statistic, another teenage mother, one of their cronies. Most of the girls had stoic looks upon their faces. My friend hung her head down as she sat. I knew she was terrified rather than ashamed. There was nothing to be ashamed of, this was normalicy.
Sitting there I remembered the tremendous baby shower my cousin's wife had for her unwed teenage daughter. The daughter that was preparing to enter into tenth grade. Such a grand prize for such a grand accomplishment. I graduated highschool and no one even told me congrats...amazing how this society works. BACKWARDS!
When my friend's name was called we looked at each other, and slowly got up. I was asked to stay out front, and that to me was a bit of a relief. My assumption was her stitches were merely taking a little longer to heal than normal. I waited as the doctor asked her questions and then examined her. She came out and told me the Dr. concluded that she had a rare sexually transmitted disease that is hard to detect but treatable. We were relieved that it wasn’t more serious than that but she was infuriated at the thought that her sexual partner would risk her life like that.
Everyone seems so eager nowadays to jump in bed that they forget...the carriage can't move with the horse behind it. Maybe getting to know an individual before you give up the "goods" will save you the embarrassment of the visit to the clinic.
So many naive young girls and involve themselves in relationships with older men. I chose young girls and older men because they seem to be the ones creating the most problems. However, this is for everyone. (Even though throughtout I'm focusing on the old men/young girl relationship) ANYWAY...Humans aren't asexual beings. Without a vagina(which usually is attached to a female) and a penis(which usually is attached to a male) babies can't be made. Babies are blessings, not toys for a ninth grader.
Furthermore, so many people in society are excepting of the sex before knowing you/baby before marriage trend. No, I'm not pointing fingers. I'm simply stating that before the Christian counsel decides to take off MY BET and have an uproar over Bareback Mountain, maybe they should concern themselves with the increasing percentages of unwed teenage mothers. AND how many of the babies they christened in their offices for $25 without telling that young girl, who was there last year that time by the way, to close her legs. BET isn't on basic cable any more, so what are we to blame?
To the fathers of the young women who are being taking advantage of by men who probably sat behind daddy dearest, be a father to them and they wouldn't have to search for one. My friend was a lucky one, but some of these men are fathers themselves and continue to plague girls with diseases, stripping them of their innocence. This is a terrifying notion and very much apart of our society. We see it every day but turn a blind eye until it invades our immediate family. I feel as though older men preying on younger girls causes, lack of self respect and in many cases causes the young girls demise.
Most of these children are seeking love and affection. They want to be listened to, called beautiful and given a hug. Older more worldly men take advantage of those desires. They bombard them with material possessions, take them places and parade them around other unfaithful friends as if they are proud and confident within their relationship. Some of these men have already established families and want to use these girls for their body. They introduce these young girls to sexual acts and abuse their bodies. Soon these girls feel as though they are only good for sex.
Moreover, some of these men also have STD’s and coax these naïve young girls to have unprotected sex with them. The whisper in the ear, the baby I love you. Head swing and panty gone. Thus leading to an increasing rate of teenage pregnancies and many sickly and dying young women.
Some say the girls are well aware of what is going on and blame them. But we as a nation must take charge defending our youth. An under age girl can not legally give consent to a sexual relationship with an adult. As a result I feel the law should enforce stricter punishment for these men.
This essay is me just venting...but please, stop putting the horse before the carriage. It only has our country going backwards. (in every aspect...not jus dis:)
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Gay Culture: Progress or Ruin
Two decades ago my former teacher from Jamaica came to The Bahamas, she asked her class what was their perception of homosexuality in The Bahamas. Most of the class exclaimed that gays and lesbians did not exist in their world. Now, it is the year 2007 and many views have changed. Gay culture is not only present but expanding greatly. How does the general public feel about this? Can the influx of gay culture be seen as Progress or Ruin? Personally, I believe that gay culture in The Bahamas is not progress but more precisely progressively ruining our culture and children, creating new culture, quite possibly a more flippant society. Furthermore The Bahamas is a Christian nation built on the foundation of Christian morals and beliefs and the flourishing of gay culture would erode the standards we were built on, warp the innocent and malleable minds of our youth, and could possibly open the door to many other immoral activities.
First of all The Bahamas is a Christian nation, one of the morals society was taught constantly was, no sex before marriage. Normally, homosexuals explore this lifestyle for sexual reasons. They are, for the most part, viewing same sex relationships as a new and exciting sexual experience. Since marriage of the same sex is illegal, and we were taught that we should be married before we engage in sexual intercourse, it goes against what we were raised believing. The church has a strong impact on who we are as a people and gay culture is directly against Christian views. Many people attend church every week and are involved in weekly church activities such as youth meetings and bible study where they are told to avoid homosexuality. The spread of gay culture negates the values that these church activities have taught. The biblical perspective on this epidemic of gay culture does not change. It is against what the bible teaches, and what the churches as well as some parents try to instill and reiterate to every one. With the growth of gay culture it loses what it means to be Bahamian because it hides what we have known ourselves as, a Christian nation.
Moreover, children are fragile and can easily be molded and exposure to gay culture will warp their minds. Gay culture being forced into their lives because of the intensification of it may make them feel as though this is normal behaviour. Infecting their minds with something they cannot completely grasp causes loss of innocence. In a local high school two females were caught performing lewd sexual acts on each other. This should be a cause for alarm! Schools seem to no longer be institutions of learning, rather they are “hook up spots” for children mimicking what they have seen in many public places, which is the development of gay culture. I have witnessed our youth, females no older than fourteen engaging in homosexual relationships. I recall asking the young girl, a former friend of mine, “Why are you in this gay relationship?” Her response to me was, “Everyone else is doing it.” Her early exposure to homosexuality made her desensitized and more susceptible to engaging in such activities herself. Children watch television shows like “Will and Grace” and “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”, that promote homosexuality. They have friends who have been directly exposed to the homosexual lifestyle. They watch men in the mall with polished toes, relaxed hair, and hair extensions. Children then become confused as to what is normal. This forces on them complexities that need not burden their little minds. It influences them to do as gay culture teaches, confusing them, shaping them to indulge in a behaviour they may not have never even considered.
Furthermore, our acceptance for this immoral behaviour may only be a start, opening the door to many other lifestyles that could ruin us. Being accepting and tolerant of gay culture is one thing. If we are willing to bend and break the rules for one thing we once viewes as wrong, where will the line be drawn? Soon people may not view bigamy and prostitution as immoral. When is it ok to speak up against what could be destroying us as a people, as Bahamians? It is like my mother say to my brothers and I. “If I give you too much rope, you will hang yourselves." Which means the more she allows us to do, the more we will try to get away with. We can not and must not be lenient with homosexuality and not expect that other wrongs could possibly be next, expanding and ruining us.
There is no disputing that gay culture is here. It has become so popular, with the erection of gay clubs and bars all over town that it is hard not to notice. Some may disagree by taking the stance that gay culture in the Bahamas is progress. Liberals believe that this gives society a more open minded way of thinking and prepares for us for globalization. These people may say that this gives individuals the choice to feel free to discover what their sexual preference is. False! Someone does not have to go to jail to know that they do not want to be there. Some things are better off not being experienced. Hence we don’t need to explore sexual relationships with the same sex to know that it is not something we should engage in.
However, focus has been lost on developing gay culture rather than students focusing on school, rather than society continuing to propel Christianity and creating space for other immoral activities to be apart of our culture. It has infiltrated our speech accommodations to gay culture. I feel though that it is becoming a strain, segregating and manipulating our Christian views, our Christian nation. I think we should make progress by not allowing this to continue to ruin us because it is.
First of all The Bahamas is a Christian nation, one of the morals society was taught constantly was, no sex before marriage. Normally, homosexuals explore this lifestyle for sexual reasons. They are, for the most part, viewing same sex relationships as a new and exciting sexual experience. Since marriage of the same sex is illegal, and we were taught that we should be married before we engage in sexual intercourse, it goes against what we were raised believing. The church has a strong impact on who we are as a people and gay culture is directly against Christian views. Many people attend church every week and are involved in weekly church activities such as youth meetings and bible study where they are told to avoid homosexuality. The spread of gay culture negates the values that these church activities have taught. The biblical perspective on this epidemic of gay culture does not change. It is against what the bible teaches, and what the churches as well as some parents try to instill and reiterate to every one. With the growth of gay culture it loses what it means to be Bahamian because it hides what we have known ourselves as, a Christian nation.
Moreover, children are fragile and can easily be molded and exposure to gay culture will warp their minds. Gay culture being forced into their lives because of the intensification of it may make them feel as though this is normal behaviour. Infecting their minds with something they cannot completely grasp causes loss of innocence. In a local high school two females were caught performing lewd sexual acts on each other. This should be a cause for alarm! Schools seem to no longer be institutions of learning, rather they are “hook up spots” for children mimicking what they have seen in many public places, which is the development of gay culture. I have witnessed our youth, females no older than fourteen engaging in homosexual relationships. I recall asking the young girl, a former friend of mine, “Why are you in this gay relationship?” Her response to me was, “Everyone else is doing it.” Her early exposure to homosexuality made her desensitized and more susceptible to engaging in such activities herself. Children watch television shows like “Will and Grace” and “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”, that promote homosexuality. They have friends who have been directly exposed to the homosexual lifestyle. They watch men in the mall with polished toes, relaxed hair, and hair extensions. Children then become confused as to what is normal. This forces on them complexities that need not burden their little minds. It influences them to do as gay culture teaches, confusing them, shaping them to indulge in a behaviour they may not have never even considered.
Furthermore, our acceptance for this immoral behaviour may only be a start, opening the door to many other lifestyles that could ruin us. Being accepting and tolerant of gay culture is one thing. If we are willing to bend and break the rules for one thing we once viewes as wrong, where will the line be drawn? Soon people may not view bigamy and prostitution as immoral. When is it ok to speak up against what could be destroying us as a people, as Bahamians? It is like my mother say to my brothers and I. “If I give you too much rope, you will hang yourselves." Which means the more she allows us to do, the more we will try to get away with. We can not and must not be lenient with homosexuality and not expect that other wrongs could possibly be next, expanding and ruining us.
There is no disputing that gay culture is here. It has become so popular, with the erection of gay clubs and bars all over town that it is hard not to notice. Some may disagree by taking the stance that gay culture in the Bahamas is progress. Liberals believe that this gives society a more open minded way of thinking and prepares for us for globalization. These people may say that this gives individuals the choice to feel free to discover what their sexual preference is. False! Someone does not have to go to jail to know that they do not want to be there. Some things are better off not being experienced. Hence we don’t need to explore sexual relationships with the same sex to know that it is not something we should engage in.
However, focus has been lost on developing gay culture rather than students focusing on school, rather than society continuing to propel Christianity and creating space for other immoral activities to be apart of our culture. It has infiltrated our speech accommodations to gay culture. I feel though that it is becoming a strain, segregating and manipulating our Christian views, our Christian nation. I think we should make progress by not allowing this to continue to ruin us because it is.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Crumpled Silk Sheets
prefer it if I fought?
push back
while you push on
my body
worn from battle
finger tips
pitter patter
down my spine
like the rain
on the window pane
tears of pain
gently rough
fighting back
had enough
get off of me
out of me
out of my head
figurative fight
literal bed
©Tia L. Clarke 2008
push back
while you push on
my body
worn from battle
finger tips
pitter patter
down my spine
like the rain
on the window pane
tears of pain
gently rough
fighting back
had enough
get off of me
out of me
out of my head
figurative fight
literal bed
©Tia L. Clarke 2008
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