I wanted to keep you
swear I did
but I was only
a little kid
felt you growing
scared as hell
when I did it
I meant well
didn't expect
you'd visit my dreams
no idea
what all this means
I'm sorry I hurt you
I thought you were asleep
dying with this secret
I must keep
© Tia L. Clarke 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Wish I Never Did
I opened myself up to a room of strangers. I trusted them with my thoughts, my feelings, my fears. Ms. Bethel, a great writer and teacher wanted me to break down walls with my personal essay. She wanted me to bare all without fear. Just share. I did and I wish I never did.
Humiliate he says. I'm humiliated that he'd use what I shared against me. Some people are major speed bumps in the road to growth. My intent wasnt to be taunted by what I shared. This made me realize that some people shouldn't be trusted with your thoughts. Those people who focus on hurting you by what you've told them in confidence are not loyal, not friends...not people who I want in my life.
Humiliate he says. I'm humiliated that he'd use what I shared against me. Some people are major speed bumps in the road to growth. My intent wasnt to be taunted by what I shared. This made me realize that some people shouldn't be trusted with your thoughts. Those people who focus on hurting you by what you've told them in confidence are not loyal, not friends...not people who I want in my life.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
cHAtTeR bOx
In my personal essay I wrote about religion dividing people, I discussed how I am yearning to have a good, if not just a relationship with my boyfriend's mother (and his sisters). The differences of religion hindered that, and feels like it is still HINDERING. Don't get me wrong, she no longer sucks her teeth when I call. But for some reason I can sense the prayers of her and her daughter ascending into heaven daily that their child rid himself of me. I can honestly say the relationship isn't going half bad, great infact, BUT, as little Micheal would say, "baby baby I gat that feeling". The feeling some feces 'bout to hit the fan.
The last thing I want to do is alarm my boyfriend. However, I'm a bit alarmed my damn self. I'm also beginning to wonder if I'm doing this(this being learning about the religion) to make it easier on us. I've never been that type of person though, and I don't want to start now. I often think about where this is headed and I'm not quite sure anymore of what I want to do. If I want to do this(this being our relationship) any longer.
BOY I HOPE HE DOESN'T READ THIS....
We'll see how this goes.
The last thing I want to do is alarm my boyfriend. However, I'm a bit alarmed my damn self. I'm also beginning to wonder if I'm doing this(this being learning about the religion) to make it easier on us. I've never been that type of person though, and I don't want to start now. I often think about where this is headed and I'm not quite sure anymore of what I want to do. If I want to do this(this being our relationship) any longer.
BOY I HOPE HE DOESN'T READ THIS....
We'll see how this goes.
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