Horse before Carriage...

BABY THEN MARRIAGE(:Sconfused face)

Recently a close unwed friend of mine asked me to go with her to the clinic because she recently had a baby and was still feeling discomfort from her stitches. She was a bit uneasy because her on going relationship with a man ten years older than her was unpredictable. He proved untrustworthy and having sexual relations with him was a risk. I agreed to go because I was greatly concerned and wanted to make sure she was going to be fine.

The visit to the clinic was unnerving. As we walked in the ice cold room my hands grew clammy. I looked around and saw a startling amount of unaccompanied pregnant youngsters. I almost felt guilty. As if not sporting a baby bump of my own was a disgrace. But we knew nothing about each other. Maybe the girls were staring at me, declaring me just another statistic, another teenage mother, one of their cronies. Most of the girls had stoic looks upon their faces. My friend hung her head down as she sat. I knew she was terrified rather than ashamed. There was nothing to be ashamed of, this was normalicy.

Sitting there I remembered the tremendous baby shower my cousin's wife had for her unwed teenage daughter. The daughter that was preparing to enter into tenth grade. Such a grand prize for such a grand accomplishment. I graduated highschool and no one even told me congrats...amazing how this society works. BACKWARDS!

When my friend's name was called we looked at each other, and slowly got up. I was asked to stay out front, and that to me was a bit of a relief. My assumption was her stitches were merely taking a little longer to heal than normal. I waited as the doctor asked her questions and then examined her. She came out and told me the Dr. concluded that she had a rare sexually transmitted disease that is hard to detect but treatable. We were relieved that it wasn’t more serious than that but she was infuriated at the thought that her sexual partner would risk her life like that.

Everyone seems so eager nowadays to jump in bed that they forget...the carriage can't move with the horse behind it. Maybe getting to know an individual before you give up the "goods" will save you the embarrassment of the visit to the clinic.

So many naive young girls and involve themselves in relationships with older men. I chose young girls and older men because they seem to be the ones creating the most problems. However, this is for everyone. (Even though throughtout I'm focusing on the old men/young girl relationship) ANYWAY...Humans aren't asexual beings. Without a vagina(which usually is attached to a female) and a penis(which usually is attached to a male) babies can't be made. Babies are blessings, not toys for a ninth grader.

Furthermore, so many people in society are excepting of the sex before knowing you/baby before marriage trend. No, I'm not pointing fingers. I'm simply stating that before the Christian counsel decides to take off MY BET and have an uproar over Bareback Mountain, maybe they should concern themselves with the increasing percentages of unwed teenage mothers. AND how many of the babies they christened in their offices for $25 without telling that young girl, who was there last year that time by the way, to close her legs. BET isn't on basic cable any more, so what are we to blame?

To the fathers of the young women who are being taking advantage of by men who probably sat behind daddy dearest, be a father to them and they wouldn't have to search for one. My friend was a lucky one, but some of these men are fathers themselves and continue to plague girls with diseases, stripping them of their innocence. This is a terrifying notion and very much apart of our society. We see it every day but turn a blind eye until it invades our immediate family. I feel as though older men preying on younger girls causes, lack of self respect and in many cases causes the young girls demise.

Most of these children are seeking love and affection. They want to be listened to, called beautiful and given a hug. Older more worldly men take advantage of those desires. They bombard them with material possessions, take them places and parade them around other unfaithful friends as if they are proud and confident within their relationship. Some of these men have already established families and want to use these girls for their body. They introduce these young girls to sexual acts and abuse their bodies. Soon these girls feel as though they are only good for sex.

Moreover, some of these men also have STD’s and coax these naïve young girls to have unprotected sex with them. The whisper in the ear, the baby I love you. Head swing and panty gone. Thus leading to an increasing rate of teenage pregnancies and many sickly and dying young women.

Some say the girls are well aware of what is going on and blame them. But we as a nation must take charge defending our youth. An under age girl can not legally give consent to a sexual relationship with an adult. As a result I feel the law should enforce stricter punishment for these men.

This essay is me just venting...but please, stop putting the horse before the carriage. It only has our country going backwards. (in every aspect...not jus dis:)