RIDICULOUS

Every time I cry, I believe this is my last time.
The last time I'll waste my tears on something as meaningless as emotion.
Isn't that funny?! Emotion being meaningless, nonsense right. You know what I believe my problem is. I settle. I settle because it's easy, it's safe. I settle in so many areas of my life it's hard to even explain.
But more specifically I'll talk about relationships.
I leave the last relationship thinking, this time I will not settle. I deserve to be respected. I deserve someone who pulls out chairs; someone who brings me flowers; someone who accepts me for everything I am without trying to change me.
Some where along the line I lose sight of that. I always settle for at least he...
smt its ridiculous...RIGHT??!

Early Mourning

for T.L.C

How can love
make me
want you dead
kill you
take my pen
slice through you
I'm through
with you
has been more than
enough
less than pleasure
filled my cup
nights of mourning
tears trickle
years upon you
a step from
unto dust you shall return
but so fickle
thickness
to stretch my mind
blind
unrealistic
world of your own
fairy tales
you fairy
stars away
in an orbit of crazy
lazy
though I maybe
I am open
stretch me

©Tia L. Clarke 2008

Bacon and Eggs

Indifferent
to your arrival
I feel your blame
I will never ask
for breakfast again

your crash
but my life changed

“I don’t wanna talk about it
that breakfast cause me crash”

this is what you said to me
when you came back

from your comma
that I cried you out of
still breathing
because of my love

under a ceiling fan
I lay
maimed
by my man
your words slit my throat
you don’t understand
blood oozes down my chest
“You Take My Breath”

your mouth a heinous weapon
left me to die
didn’t even realize
I couldn’t even cry

wrapped in your world
as I am wrapped in it too
wrapped up in me
being wrapped up by you

Smirnoff green apple vodka
did not shed the pain
you came back home
revived it again

how guilty I feel
though YOU sped down the street

how ashamed I am
because I wanted to eat

I regret playing in the kitchen
asking for those eggs

I’d just as well starve
that morning
if I knew it was me
you’d blame

Breakfast
caused pain
stove fire
ended flame

© copyright Tia L. Clarke 2008

Sustenance for Death

to R.A.M

feelings devoured by you
less than a woman
slop me down like pigs do
tear me open
expose my faults
highlight my problems
mock my mistakes
give me another negative name
say you love me
but hide me in shame
love me just enough
to keep me coming back
love loss
blood lost
wounded
weak
slit my throat with your tongue
no confidence to speak
slice me
dice me
like a fruit
you need to survive
give me just the little
it takes to keep me alive

copyright Tia L. Clarke 2007