writing
isn't what it used to be
conformed by what
others think
my art
should be
what poetry
should be like
I don't know if I like to write
anymore
it doesn't flow
like blood
through my viens
nor like tears
from pain
of losing my grandmother
it's still
stagnant
no ripples from this pen
I was too willing to change
willing to bend
broken
©Tia L. Clarke 2008
3 comments:
How happy I am to see that you've attempted a fresh poem. When though were you happy writing, happy about what you wrote? When did you consider your efforts and process successful?
The contrast between flowing blood and flowing tears, in what follows, is successful. What this suggest though is this poetry is not MADE UP, instead it is about recognizing the poetry in life and in nature as is. Pointing out these like and unalike things, places, situations. The poet merely recognizes and draws attention for who are relatively BLIND, when compared with the poet's ability to SEE.
poetry flows
like blood
through veins
like tears
from pain
This bit you can make poetry of. Note though, I have reversed the negative, the disappointment, as it is triumph, celebration, on however small a scale, which makes poetry. Poetry is not about defeat, unless in defeat, one finds a thread to CELEBRATE, to uplift. The poet picks her pen up when she is picked up or uplifted, not when she is let down or run down. We rely upon poet, upon poetry to get us going and believing, not to induce a feeling of defeat. I suggest you pick up or pick out, positive parts and permit those cells to multiply into the embryo of a poem. Griping, complaining doth not make a poem, unless even this mood, these emotions, inspire wonderful metaphors, beautiful images, coupled with the metrical skipping along, which is the MUSIC of poetry.
i think you and i are indeed not too unlike...i really really like this...using your writers block to actually forge inspiration...how innovative
Since i like this post so much and it is the heart of my style and some of your questions..i am going to respond to all your comments on my poems here.(apologies for delay was on road and being stressed by D.J my boss).
*****
1) When eros met agape
Q:I like it! Why though do you have brackets around (of love, to love) in the third stanza?
A:Its a new style i am trying where the bracketed words when read from top to bottom actually tell a separate story or theme all independent and yet linked with the main story. I have tried it again with another recent poem called "to my baby"
****
2) Dis mi nah(part II)
Q:I'm a Bahamian...we'd spell it "dis me na" "mi" is more Jamaican. Me for us is just me. Explain to me what is meant by this poem, plz.
A: Indeed you right, its supposed to be dis me na" and well the poem is really telling the reader that i have become such a man..ie ignore the bracets it reads as thus;
I love and leave
I leave and hurt
I hurt and kill
And then I cry and love
Again.
And so that's me now!
3)In battle-where limbs meet
The allusion to sugar and yards is because "she is from the yards" or is a yardie ie a jamaican and thus reference to sugar..
Namalire means "i have come" as in the next line after the word...
4) Spending time
Q: DAYUMMMM!! DELICIOUS! That first line is divine; "I'm with you, on you, in you." And..."Sweat too sweet to taste, too hot to waste" It's erotic and beautiful. Who ever was your muse must be proud
A: shortly after spending time..me and that muse called it a day..i guess too much time sweating so sweet got to our nerves!
5) Anna is weeping
Q: I guess great minds think alike.
I wrote a poem called, Anna's Island Like. You should read it sometime: http://tlc-shorty.blogspot.com/
A: I love your works and i wouldnt say that is false indeed...lemme search for it.. P.S the same muse of spending time inspired this one..
6)At the death of love
Q: The depth of this poem, without completely ruining my spirits amazes me. Sad situation but the question at the end almost gives us hope that we can be saved.
Only us can save us though. The world can not change, if people will not change it.
My only thing about this poem, is the structure. In the first two lines for example, you can highlight the last few words by going to another line rather than using the commas. Some lines are a bit too long. I just think it may flow better.
Other than that I love it! You're great!!
A: This is the most inspiring compliment i have received in ages and thank you for both the comment and compliment...indeed the lines is something i am working on...
This poem for me was written when i was terribly sad...
P.S
You never responded to a comment i left on an earlier post where Obi asked a question and i too reiterated....
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