Shorty's Diary- *Pieces~Of~Me*

I'm currently on the quest for maturity.

I have been the baby for so long that it is hard to detach myself from that existance. Being the "baby" is what I know, it is what I'm able to do. Who am I because of this? Am I a weaker person? Maybe!? I feel helpless, I feel useless. I feel unarmed on the frontline of battle. People say to me, everyone does things in their own time...at 21 how much more TIME do I need. I feel stagnant!

I have been through many hardships, some of them I may have very well caused on myself. And I know that my trials have made me stronger. But am I strong enough?

Recently, I took the written part of my driving test. I passed with flying colours after much fighting with myself to even sit the test. I was so relieved, so happy. That hurdle has been passed but now its time for the actual DRIVING. Interesting! I am intimidated by the streets and I have much reason to be but those younger than me have zoomed passed me. I am not jealous. I have learned through teachings of my grandmothers that "what fa you, fa you." But am I angry with myself. I am angry because I allow my fear to defeat me. I have surrendered to my unseen opponent.

I sometimes judge myself based on people in my age group. "Look at what he has done. Look at what she has become." I am almost embarrassed of myself. Once again defeated, this time by the feeling of inferiority. When will things fall into place? Finding these things out are all apart of my quest for maturity, for independence...I guess I'm just on the quest to find myself, rather than anything else.

~*Pieces ~Of~Me*~