Lost

want me to believe
that the emptiness will go away
that it will get better
easier in time
but this pain
the pain that stretches
from the back of my neck
to the tip of my tailbone
tells a different story
this pain
has paralyzed me
i am numb
but my heart
still feels so much
pain
disdain
for myself
how can i believe this will get better
and every picture makes me wish
i never wrote that letter
better?
even the weather says differently
rain, tears of angels
did they lose him too
rain
drops
tapping on my window
sill
silly me
i wish it were him
separation anxiety
separation
apart
a part of me gone
and Lord knows i long for it
long for him
deny myself
easy to read
easy for them to say
while i lay
tear stained face
face it
its only been days
but
i miss the days
every one
everyone can see
that without him
i am not me